Tuesday, February 26, 2008


We have just been at the hospital. Around my mother-in-law Sue's bed were her husband Ben, her children Benjamin and Kat, her grandchildren Eowyn and Cosette, and three of her four siblings, Carol, David and Stephen with their families Leela, Jack, and Josh, and Lloyd, and me. She said: "The doctors told me today I have come to the beginning of the end of my life. I want to laugh, and enjoy beautiful moments with you all. I want you to ask me questions and talk about it. Megan has taught me, and Benjamin, and Kat, that we need to talk and talk and talk and communicate openly and not close up and hide and pretend. I'm not in pain, they have my pain medication under control. Pray that my impacted bowel opens." Her oncologist explained that end stage ovarian cancer involves the abdomen being filled with rolled oats like pieces of cancer - it doesn't attack organs, just spreads in the abdomen. It is causing Sue's bowel to be impacted - he said that if it opens now it is just a matter of time for these cancers to cause her bowel to once more be impacted. She'll be having home palleative care, and we as a family will be helping with that. If her bowel doesn't stop being impacted, she might die very very soon. This is so sad and scary. She and I had a lovely hug and she told me she loved me - and I told her I loved her. It is incredible that all the painful struggling in our relationship has brought us to this place where she could give me one of the biggest compliments I've ever received. There is real love and closeness in our relationship now - this is redemptive and I thank God.

Please pray for Sue and all her family members I've mentioned, as well as her sister Kathy and bro-in-law Jeff and her mother Kaye, and Kat's Jim and Ner nieces Nicole, Jeannie and Kelly and her nephew Jake.

Love,
Megan

PS This picture is of Sue and Ben celebrating Coco's 4th birthday at their home. Despite being so sick, Sue made Coco a beautiful birthday cake, decorated the house and had a beautiful party for Coco with her Ben and Bens, Eowyn and me. I am very thankful for her kind, giving heart.

3 comments:

Helen said...

This is a lovely post even though it's sad.

Our Red House said...

Oh, Megs, I feel so sad for you and Ben, yet how beautiful that you are being reconciled with Mrs Ady. It is such a blessing for a dying person to seek peace with others because it frees those others up from their pain.

I am thinking about you and praying for you.

hugs,

Kate

Justin said...

Sad to hear it. Praying for you all.