I love these paragraphs, from Sylvia Plath's 'The Bell Jar':
"From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantine and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and off-beat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out.
I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig-tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet."
My good friend Mary and I walked around Greenlake yesterday. Plunging into the cool water was so refreshing. Mary took this pic of me doing butterfly - such a funny stroke, makes me laugh, so I put it on my blog so you can laugh too!
And here you can see Bens working with Sofi at the Options Institute in Massachusetts.
In honesty, I am finding caring for the girls without Bens here to be utterly overwhelming. I am in awe of single mums. I feel flooded, exhausted, overwhelmed, and often unable to regenerate myself and be kind rather than yelling.
Eowyn and Coco are very insightful. Last night Eowyn said, in a serious tone, "Mama, I think you're yelling a lot because Daddy's away and you miss him." (I'd just apologised for yelling at her). Parenting is by far the hardest thing I've ever done. I love them so much, but have such limited energy to give, because they always demand so much of my energy. They came out of my body and they keep needing my body, and my body loves to be needed by them, but gets tired...
Coco has teacher Angela, whom Eowyn had in kindergarten, and Eowyn has Mrs Warren, in a 2nd/3rd grade split class!
The bottom pic is of our lovely next door neighbour Eddie, who is going to have our cat, Mon Petit Chou, when we move to Australia in December. Both Eddie and Chou Chou seem delighted with this arrangement, as are we, knowing our darling chat is in very good hands!!
Coco starts KINDERGARTEN tomorrow, and Eowyn starts SECOND GRADE!
I have a job as a midwife at Epworth Hospital in Melbourne, Australia on Dec 7th, and Bens is going to Massachussets for two weeks training as a Son-Rise autism spectrum play therapist on September 16th.
All this change and transition is wearing me out.
Our friend Russell introduced us to the 9th Dr Who at our Dr Who party on Monday, and Bens and i have been watching a few episodes each evening./
Teeth are supposed to be being brushed, however shenanigans have overtaken ablutions...